Warning. This isn’t going to be the happiest post. Am I in any sort of dark mood? No, not at all. I just tend to think about the current human situation a lot.
Yesterday I had dinner at a Paneras. I sat outside so I could watch the sun set. While picking through my Fuji chicken-less salad an older woman (80s) with a younger woman (30s) walked out. The older woman waited by me as the younger woman brought the car around.
When she was waiting she and I talked a little about how being in the sun was a good thing. Then she expressed that she had arthritis, so I suggested her to sit down. At this she responded, “I won’t be able to get back up. It’s hard when your body can’t do what it used to.”
There’s hearing those words, and really hearing those words. I’m pretty sure I really heard them because when she left I started to cry, and now here I am crying again. I get that this is a part of life, but she seemed so defeated, not angry, defeated, that I couldn’t help but be over come with sadness for her, myself, and everyone else……
Now onto Gill. Gill is a 80 something year old gentleman my mother befriended a few years back. His wife passed away last year, and his children are too busy for him, yet he’s okay. My mother hangs out with him at the gym every week, they go to lunch, and sometimes we have him over at the house. Since Gill learned that I’m into reading/writing he’s been gifting me books, and sending me New York Times articles that he thinks I should read. The books that he’s given me are all signed copies, and not only this, these authors were his family members and friends. These are valuable to him.
Two weeks ago when he got word that I graduated from college, he sent me a book (With a mysterious picture of a baby and a dog within it’s pictures.) and a wallet. This wasn’t a new wallet in any sense, but I knew there was some story to it, so I called him up to find out. It turns out the wallet belonged to his late wife, that he wanted me to have it, and that I was a looker, but I’m no match to his late wife. There are so many beautiful layers to this, but this is where I’m going to take you, since it’s the idea of this post….The man is giving his possessions away because he wants to be sure that these objects are going to the right people. I’m not saying that he’s going anywhere this week, or next year, but he knows, and he is preparing. There is something sad, yet special about that.
So this is how we’re going to end this. There is no way to get away from the inevitable, and to think on it constantly will drive anyone mad, but it’s not something you should forget. When you forget you start to live life like it will never end. Please don’t do that, please do everything you’ve ever dreamed of, or at least try to do it, and maybe you won’t seem or feel defeated at that time of old. Maybe you’ll be ready like Gill. He’s old, but according to his stories, he’s lived a great life.
Who would you rather be?
