When it comes to bad dates, let’s face it ladies . . . we all have a share-worthy story to tell! Tell us what went down on your worst date ever! Email your story to TrueLoveMagazine@yahoo.com. And don’t forget to check in every Wednesday for your dose of Worst Date Wednesday!

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When I was in my early twenties, I lived in an apartment complex that had a pool. I was a waitress at the time and went into work around one o’clock in the afternoon each weekend and most weekdays. My pool time was either very early in the morning or late at night, but most people got to use the pool during the main part of the day. I had to pass the pool each day to get to my car, so even though I wasn’t in the pool, I could see what was going on there. I noticed there was this one guy who was always out on a lounge chair tanning. He had a great tan and a great body, as far as I could see.

One day I heard someone call out the name “Kevin,” and the guy on the lawn chair sat up and answered. The next day I was feeling brave, and as I walked by the pool, I called out loudly to the guy on the chair, “Hi, Kevin!”

He sat up and looked straight at me and before he could answer, I scurried away into my car. I was so embarrassed! I have always been shy, a trait that most of my customers at the restaurant found endearing, considering I always seemed to make good tips. So for me to be so bold—well, let’s just say I stopped passing the pool to get to my car and parked far away and walked the extra block just to avoid the pool.

I was completely shocked the next day when I listened to my messages on my phone and there was an unknown voice saying his name was Kevin and he wanted me to meet him at his favorite East Indian restaurant downtown. “No need to reply—just show up any night at the restaurant after ten p.m.” He went on to explain that he got my number from the apartment complex receptionist, and he knew I was a waitress and not to worry if I got there late because that particular restaurant didn’t close until very late.

So I went. I was excited because it had been ages since I had been out and it would be nice to have someone wait on me for a change.

After work I changed in my car (quite a feat) and freshened my makeup. When I got there, I found the restaurant in full swing with Kevin the center of attention. I was reminded of a story from my childhood about a king and his court. When he saw me, he told everyone to excuse him and that he had “just seen a vision.” Then he took my hand and led me to a back table. I have to admit, he was handsome! And it was nice being called “a vision.”

The rest of the night, I learned everything and more that I had ever wanted to know about anyone. His diet, you see, was vegetarian and only uncooked, raw, natural food was good enough to go into the temple that was his body. He explained the “outcome” of a vegetarian diet versus a meat eater’s diet in great detail. I nibbled through one raw carrot after another and hoped I wouldn’t be sick.

He told me his “fortune” was made from coin operated Laundromats and that he basically lived off of people “too stupid to have their own washing machines.” When he wasn’t telling me about how rich he was, he was telling me about how frugal he was. The Indian restaurant was his only indulgence. He even grew his own natural tobacco, which he smoked in messy, paper, cigarette-shaped things throughout the evening.

The clincher was when he told me that he was wearing the same pair of disposable contact lenses that he purchased over a year earlier. The trick was to clean them thoroughly each night and rinse them in . . . his own urine!

Yuck!

I have always tried to save money, but I was amazed that Kevin truly believed that his greatest accomplishment in life was cleaning his contacts in urine and growing tobacco in his apartment. (“Highly illegal to do,” he assured me in a loud whisper.) All to save money!

I wore glasses because I couldn’t afford contacts. I went to Laundromats because I couldn’t afford to buy a washer and dryer, and I hated cigarette smoke—natural or not. I couldn’t believe how cheap and judgmental this guy was. He even asked me to pay my part of the check—which was all of five dollars! And I never got a word in edgewise!

After that night, I avoided the pool and screened my calls. I heard later, long after the pool closed for the winter, that Kevin moved away to a healthy living community shortly after our “date.” And my life, thankfully, went back to what for me is “normal!”

-Dena Hunt, New Mexico